I attended the affair with my business partner and friend, Sherry, whom I am visiting in Philly. We had spent part of the day working, so it was good to be in the company of women laughing and engaging in meaningful conversation. I even got hugs from former colleagues I had not seen in years, except on Facebook.

My breakout group consisted of about 17 professional African American women ranging in ages from  the 20s to 70s. And even the young among us already had come to realize that family, significant others, friends, work or money do not make us or keep us happy in the long run. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness.

Several in the room seemed to understand, as I do, that happiness is an inside job. It is a state of mind, some acknowledged. And faith plays a key role in sustaining our happiness, others around the room agreed.

One young woman talked about how she has found freedom and contentment in coming home after work  and reading her Bible. She is pursuing her goal of starting a public relations and marketing firm. Her faith, the seeds of which were planted by her parents, encourages and sustains her.

“We all have a different starting point for happiness. It’s not the same for everyone,” said another young woman, Sirena C. Moore, who lit up the room as she talked about what God has done in her life. Moore, a teenage mother of twins turned entrepreneur, received the 2010 Small Business Person of the Year award from the Greater Philadelphia Chamber of Commerce and was featured  on the cover of Black Enterprise Magazine in January.

The 28-year-old  owner of Elohim Cleaning Contractors Inc says she has found her passion and it is speaking and motivating others. Her website tells about her many accomplishments over the last 10 years. “God has given me such an awesome testimony,” Moore enthused.

Women talked about “the juggle” –careers, spouses, children, helping others – that often leaves them little time for themselves. “We give so much to so many people,” said a 50-something health care lobbyist. “I learned this in church… you have to fill your cup to help others.”       

Happiness and faith is a topic that resonates with me. Just last week, I spent what amounts to two days learning about releasing family blessings through emotional healing at a College of Prayer module in the D.C. area. Our presenter, Mike Plunket, is a pastor and college professor from New York who describes himself as a Christian hedonist. “I live for the pleasure of God,” he declared.

“True happiness is doing what you were made for, doing what you are wired for,” Plunket said. “To get there you have to own your own emotions. We tend to give our emotions away to someone else.”

Years ago, I made a choice, and I am still working toward this goal, to not allow others to determine my level of happiness. I chose to be happy and I am allowing myself time with God to ensure that my contentment is rooted in something that doesn’t change at someone else’s whim or some condition out of my control.

Webster’s dictionary defines happiness as a state of well-being and contentment. Nothing compares to the happiness I have found in my walk with Christ. I am grateful for the reminders I have received over the last week.

Let’s continue the conversation. What makes you happy?

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2. Lessons from my brother’s life
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At one time or another, I’ve experienced a range of situations like those and more.  During a period in my life, I focused so much on the problems that they seemed to grow rather than to shrink.  Fortunately, I came to learn  about and practice applying the power of prayer to circumstances in my life.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my mother’s prayers sustained me as a child and into early adulthood. But after her death nearly 20 years ago, I finally came to the point where I had to cry out to God for myself.  As I have grown spiritually, I’ve also come to know that prayer involves listening to God not just begging God for quick fixes.

Prayer has become my portal into a deeper relationship with God.  Its life transforming force takes me beyond my nagging problems and helps me focus on those areas where I can make a difference in the world for God.

Over the last 14 years, I’ve become a hungry student of prayer. I listen intently to sermons on prayer; read the Bible and other books; and regularly attend prayer meetings. I helped start a College of Prayer in Washington, D.C., and this summer in Benin, West Africa.  Just mentioning Benin gives me shivers. That was an awesome prayer experience. (More on that to come.) Through the College of Prayer, I and many others have developed deeper, more meaningful and more active prayer lives.

This week I began a six-week course at the Shalem Institute, called the School of Prayer, in which I am learning more about different forms of prayer with a community of people from all walks of life and different faith practices.  I am on an adventure and God is my guide.

 So when problems arise now, I don’t weigh myself down with lots of worries (maybe a few for a few moments), instead I do as the Scriptures advise and cast my cares on Him and leave them there. I relied on prayer when I didn’t receive the recognition I expected at work, when church life grew tedious and when friends’s illnesses pierced my heart.  And prayer has not failed me yet. It sustains me. It gets me up in the morning and keeps me going throughout the day.

If you ever find yourself between a rock and a hard place, do what I’ve learn to do — make room to pray.

Related posts:

1. Pray at 3 p.m. for 30 days for our children
2. Some stuff just makes me want to cry, pray
3. Happiness comes from within