As I was trying to decide today if I would try to repair it or toss it out, my mind flashed back to trip I took more than 25 years ago to Germany to visit my baby sister.  I brought the set of dishes from which this cereal bowl came while traveling through Germany with my sister and her family, who were stationed in Frankfurt, and my oldest sister and her daughter, with whom I flew from the United States.

The good memories held in one small broken bowl make it hard for me to just throw it out, even though some might say it’s time to replace the entire well-used set anyway.  I pressed the pieces together and decided to get a cup of tea. Maybe I’ll get the super glue and make it whole again; I don’t know yet.

I went on with my routine only to find my broken bowl becoming a metaphor for my morning. Other broken things kept coming into focus and before noon, I was wondering what is going on, what could I do to help fix them.  Some things are not mine to fix, I also recognize.

While talking to my son, I was reminded that his reasoning needs an overhaul, some synapses in his thinking need reconnecting.  He’s been through a lot lately, has taken us through a lot. Just when I think he’s making progress , I hear some little thing—nothing really big but something important to me— that leads me to wonder when will it all click for him, when will he “get it” and make the best of his life. Maybe something said today will trigger a connection that moves him further along.

Then, a series of messages rushed into my email basket showing a strained professional relationship getting worse. Things seemed to have accelerated overnight.  Broken relationships have impact beyond just the two people involved. They can affect the entire organization, especially in the small one of which I am a part.  A glib, quick fix will not suffice, I can see that. Some long-term strategies must be applied for the health of the people and the organization.

 I am praying for guidance. God is the ultimate fixer and will know what I can do to assist my son (so far He’s given me great advice) and to help bring harmony to the other situation. I am believer in a God who can mend our broken things ,and I have faith that He will. He’s more trust worthy and longer lasting than super glue.  

I fix the bowl myself.

No related posts.

It’s supposed to hold her  at all times so as to give the illusion that no obstacle is too big, no hurdle too high and no stairs too steep to ascend. That’s the sales pitch. But that’s all it is, because the reality is it’s broken and of no use until the repairman can fit taking a look at it into his overloaded schedule next week . 

I hate when things break. Especially me. I need to hold it all together at all times, not just for me but for the generations who preceded me and withstood far more hardship than I’ve known. And for the generations following who seem to cower under the slightest weight and discomfort. They need to see how I can hold up under real strain.

Also for the congregants I serve who secretly wonder at times if God is real. For those millions of nameless women whose backs are bent under the strain of trying to house, feed, educate and clothe an entire family for under $2.50 a day.  For the women whose bodies were violently entered and whose minds and hearts were raped of the hope that anybody cared.

And for the little children who can’t afford for the grownups to break. Especially for my 5-year-old great niece who believes I am invincible. I can’t break, because if I do who will lift all those folks?

Yeah, right. All those fine noble reasons aside, I don’t want to break because breaking hurts. And I hate that. But I also fear the fact that broken things aren’t of much use. They get put up on a shelf for later fiddling. They get wheeled in front of a TV until the next meal. They get left behind. They get swept up and thrown away. And even if they are glued back together, one wrong move or a bit of close scrutiny will reveal their cracks. Don’t believe the hype. Everything is not necessarily stronger in the broken places.

Truth be told, I have been broken, am breaking now, and most assuredly will endure breaks in the future. I’m publicly whole and privately fragile. I could never live up to always being the strong, independent woman I was raised to be, who refuses to crack under pressure, no matter how forceful. While I may still resist it, I no longer believe breaking – excruciatingly painful as it is – is the worst thing. It demands new ways of seeing the same old situation and it rejects the need for me to hold on to the got-it-all-together facade.

It’s the prequisite to Resurrection. And if what rises after the break is less heroic, less prideful, more authentic, more Christ-like and less self-centered than who I am now, then by all means, I will take the break. Bring it on.

Each Friday during Lent, the Rev. Dr. Cynthia T. Turner, pastor of the Dayspring Community Church in Lanham, MD, will write about the “Righteous Mind” on the Soul Rhythms blog. Click here to read other pieces by Rev. Turner.

Related posts:

1. Righteous Mind with Rev. Cynthia T. Turner
2. Righteous Mind with Rev. Cynthia T. Turner
3. Righteous Mind with Rev. Cynthia T. Turner